went out with bin and debbers and jac today! after a madness trg haha... actualyl wasnt tt madness... just tt i was qt tired lah... dunno y haha,... must have been frm the jumping during planet shakers :) but anyway yah it was GREAT top see them again! like they all look the same... tho deb looked abit... gothic-y due to the make-up :s haha... i thik i prefered her without stuff on her face haha... but anyway i love them all they rock my world!! tho zareen couldnt go :( and of cos we all miss vana! hmm cant wait till vana comes back and we all can be reunited again! haha... hmm anyway cant wait for somethign to happen nxt week!! haha so cool... hmm just wrote an email to changi general... asking if i could volunteer there.. i guess its for 2 reasons... one is ofbviously tt itwould look nice on the record when i apply to medsch... but more than tt... i think its cos i really do want to help pple? tts y i applied to help out at foodheart last time (tho they din reply me) and i think its a good way to kill 2 birds with one stone... actually i think tt its pple liek joy and loo that have made me like so onz abt helping pple... like see them so onz abt going and serving the community i cant help but feel it too! and ben was asking me hu i was going to go with and really i nv thot of askign someoneelse to do it with me... i geuss sometimes i like to be alone... sometimes i just enjoy my own company... tts y i think tt i do have an introverted side... tho most pple will think tt is rubbish since i tok so much and always want pple to walk arnd with me or go home with me and stuff... but i geuss the thing is i like to be alone when i CHOOSE it... nto when i have to cos there is noone to be with me... its like a peverseness in myself tt if i dun have it den i want it more and i will whine and compalin until i do have companionship... but when i choose it then i can spend hours by myself and be fine haha... mad i guess i dunno... i think oso tt there is a high likelihood tt in my future career i would be alone alot and i guess i need to be prepared for it... must be able to content myself with the company of God which really shld be enough! but i guess sometimes its not enough for me... maybe tts y im going thru wad im going thru in sch... to prepare me for nxt time when i would have pple hating me and when ill be all alone... scary thot man... hmm is it true tt its easier to have relationships (as in bgr kind) when there is no religion? i guess it is... cos no inhibitions and no limits but i think that to have a relationship without God is to have an empty relationship... so even though it may be harder to have a relationship with God as the head, it is necessary... ok i guess its qt confusing i dunno but i cant imagine a life without God in it... maybe things will be easier? i dunno... but God has given me a hope and a future and i think if i didnt have Him in my life i would have a dark dark life indeed